Flamingo Fix 018: The Recovering People-Pleaser's Guide to Enforcing Payment Terms

Have you ever sat with your finger hovering over the "send" button of an email to a client who hasn't been showing up or paying, torn between two impossible choices?

One voice insists, "You need to be understanding and keep serving them - ending the relationship would be harsh and selfish." The other counters, "You need to enforce your policies immediately without exception - anything else is just being a doormat."

It's the recovering people-pleaser's perpetual dilemma - caught between being "too nice" (continuing to serve without accountability) or being labeled as "selfish" (enforcing strict boundaries without consideration). What if I told you there are two other ways to honor your business standards AND your heart for service? You can focus on fairness for you and your clients (Us-focused), or God's fairness for you and your clients (God+Us-focused). In other words, you can "love God, love you, and love your neighbor."

🦩The Pink Way Forward: Creating Client Boundaries That Actually Feel Good to Enforce

Let me share a personal story. A few years ago, I worked with a friend who needed some help in her business. Everything went okay until she landed in unforeseen financial difficulties in the third month.

A few days after my invoice deadline, my friend told me she couldn't pay me until closer to the end of the month. Given that a clause in our contract covered such a situation, I did not make a fuss about it. As that deadline got closer, the Lord woke me up early one morning and instructed me to have a conversation with her. He told me to activate the clause in our contract that stipulated I would pause all services if payment wasn't within the contracted 30 days.

I resisted the move and went before the Lord many times. Why? I knew I wasn't "selfish" for enforcing the contract. I had delivered everything we'd agreed upon. This gave me the foundation to stand firmly on our payment terms. But while that approach was fair to both of us, it did not feel safe. Because she was my friend. It would be an uncomfortable conversation, and, most of all, I was afraid she would reject me or sever our friendship. But the Lord was adamant.

Finally, the day arrived, and I had the conversation with her. Much to my amazement, she accepted the terms and thanked me for my forthrightness and for being an example to her. It seemed God had also been working on her, but it didn’t end there.

Upholding one's boundaries goes beyond saying you'll do something. You have to actually do it. It so happened that on the day I was meant to pause my services, my friend and I were scheduled to have our weekly business meeting. She reached out to ask if we could shift the meeting down, and I responded with a reminder that my services would be paused due to non-payment. She didn't say a word.

A few days later, I received two emails. One was a payment notification saying she had settled her balance. The other was a personal email from her thanking me for holding her accountable and being an example of what financial and time stewardship is. She admitted that my message didn't feel good initially, but it gave her space to realize she had taken on too much financially. She needed to make changes in her business, including strengthening her boundaries. This is after I spent weeks encouraging her to set firmer client boundaries! She then asked to end our current agreement but start a new one with me working with her in a different capacity.

What I realized in that moment was profound: My previous discomfort was worth it. When you stop letting the fear of rejection, abandonment, and people-pleasing hold your voice hostage, God will use you to free others. By obeying God and honoring the agreement we'd both made, I served us both wayyy better than I could have ever imagined.

🦩The Pink System, Not Willpower Principle: Creating Processes That Do The Hard Work For You

This experience taught me that having clear processes that align with your values and identity protects everyone.

• I considered the risk of non-payment from clients and put a response plan that aligned with my business terms and values. My contract clearly outlined how to solve the problem: it specified exactly what would happen after 30 days of non-payment. I didn't have to make an emotional decision in that moment; I just had to follow what we'd already agreed to - even if things felt scary.

• I was confident I had delivered everything we'd agreed, so I felt fair about upholding the business terms. I had created and followed a simple client journey to results that considered our needs and responsibilities.

• Not only that, I had also communicated my business terms around payment during our client onboarding call and reiterated them on my invoices. So this wasn't new information to her.

When working with recovering people-pleasing service providers, we craft sales, client fulfillment, and team leadership journeys and response plans (processes) that align with their unique definition of safety and fairness. When dealing with common client boundary situations, like clients who aren't showing up or paying, my recommendation is always a three-step tiered process to craft a response plan.

The key questions we ask are:

• "What would feel safe to you as a first corrective step?"

• "What escalated level of demonstrating your boundary would feel safe to you, fair to the client, and fair to you?"

• "What would you consider the final level that you could actually implement?"

• BONUS: We then incorporate the response plan into your client fulfillment, sales, and team processes so they are communicated at the right time (this step makes things even more scalable and sustainable).

The answers reveal so much about a person's perspective on fairness. And, there are no wrong answers. We may encourage some people to stretch the boundary muscle a bit more, we know and respect that, safety and fairness look different to different people.

What you deem as something you can uphold and stand firm on will differ depending on where you are in your recovery and your chosen flamingo identity state (Us-focused or God+Us-focused). It's not just about having a process. It's about having a process that feels safe and fair to YOUR core. And that means:

Some people need a very gentle first step that feels emotionally safe, like a check-in that doesn't mention consequences yet. That's perfectly okay.

Others are ready for more direct first responses that reference their policies and consequences immediately. That's perfectly okay.

Finally, if you're handling a tough client moment now, give yourself grace. When you don't have solid processes yet, your reaction might just be about putting out the fire. But once you've had space to plan and mature your systems, your response will come from a place of clarity, not urgency. One is your reactive and context-influenced version of fairness and safety. The other is rooted in what you've decided, which is fair and safe for you and your clients.

🦩The Pink Proof: Real Results from Recovering People-Pleasers Just Like You

When I look back at that experience with my friend, I see powerful outcomes that wouldn't have happened if I'd chosen either flamingo grey extreme - continuing without addressing the issue (too nice) or sending an angry termination (too selfish).

By following a process that honored both of us:

• My friend gained insight into her business challenges and eventually made changes that benefited her capacity, scalability, client caliber, and profitability.

• I maintained my professional standards without damaging our friendship. Her respect for me grew.

• We restructured our work together in a way that better served both of us.

• I built confidence in my ability to uphold boundaries with compassion

But the most profound result wasn't immediately visible. That experience became a cornerstone I could build upon. My capacity grew each time I successfully maintained a boundary that felt safe AND fair. What once felt terrifying – enforcing contract terms with a friend – now feels natural and necessary.

This is the true transformation of the pink flamingo way. It's not about becoming "tougher" or more rigid. It's about growing your capacity to hold boundaries that honor yourself AND others. It's about building systems that reflect your values rather than fighting against yourself every step of the way.

The results are transformative: increased confidence, better client relationships, improved profitability, scalability and capacity, team empowerment, and most importantly, alignment between business practices and core values.

🦩This Week's Pink Practice: One Tiny Action to Begin Your Boundary Journey Today

Think about one client situation where you feel caught between being "too nice" or "too selfish."

Instead of choosing between these grey extremes, ask yourself: "What would a 3-step response process look like that feels safe to me AND fair to me and my client?"

Your Tiny First Pink Flamingo Step (Do This Now): Open a document right now and write just ONE sentence for your first-level response to a client who hasn't paid on time (or for your most common client boundary situation). Don't worry about getting it perfect. Just write something that feels both kind and clear that you could send. That's it! One sentence that you could copy and paste when needed. It will reduce your emotional labor by 80% the next time you need to address an issue.

For the full practice, if you're ready:

• What first response would feel emotionally safe enough that I'll actually implement it?

• What second response with consequences would feel fair to both me and my client?

• What final boundary would I be able to stand behind with peace, knowing it honors both myself and the other person?

• What aspects of my client fulfillment, sales, and team processes can I incorporate this response plan into?

Remember, this isn't just about what feels safe and fair to you right now. Consider what will feel safe and fair as you recover and embrace more and more of your chosen pink flamingo state. What system would you implement because it feels safe and fair to your core, even if you need support and hand-holding as you put it into practice?

Progress happens in the messy middle. Your system doesn't need to match anyone else's - it just needs to honor both service AND boundaries in a way that feels authentic to you.

🦩Your Pink Flamingo Next Steps

1. Get Personalized Boundary Guidance

If my story resonates with you, I'd love to help you write your own pink flamingo business chapter. Send us an email with one business (client, sales, or team) situation where you feel caught between being "too nice" or "too selfish." I'll personally respond with a suggestion for finding your pink way forward. Send Us Your Email → epic@clientsuccessexperts.com

2. Join Our Monthly Implementation Sprints

Stop trying to figure out your processes and systems alone. For just $47/month, join our Pink Flamingo Implementation Sprints where you'll get personalized guidance on building your client fulfillment, sales, and team processes and boundaries. Work alongside other recovering people-pleasers who are building businesses that honor everyone. Join This Month's Sprint →

3. Book Your Curiosity Call

Ready for comprehensive support in building processes that feel both safe AND fair? Book a curiosity call today to see if we can help you design scalable sales, client fulfillment, and leadership processes that reflect the third way - neither "too nice" nor "selfish," but dignified service that honors everyone involved. Schedule Your Call →

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Grey flamingo leaders build "too nice" or "too selfish" systems that perpetuate burnout or hurt people. Pink flamingo leaders build systems that protect the leader, client and team. The pinkest flamingo leaders align their systems with divine design.